Anything Photo Related

Judging by my last pathetic post, it seems I’ve hit the wall in terms of fresh blog stuff. So I’ve enlisted the aid of my wordsmith buddy Donald Ord. He has lots to say about a variety of topics. I’ve asked for “anything photo related.” Here is some of what’s in Donald’s head:

CAMERA

 

For Christmas about four years back my girlfriend, now my wife, bought me my first digital camera in an attempt to bring me into this century. I had worked for about a dozen years in film editing, but that came to an end at about the same time folks stopped using film in the process of making them.

 

I didn’t really make it into this century, but I do love the camera. I was told that I could make these mp4 movie images, which I have, or that I could use it to play songs, which I have not, but what I mainly do with it is take pictures. There were a number of weddings the following year, 2004, which took us to places such as Denver, Portland, Montreal, then down through Vermont to Cape Cod. We enjoyed these trips, though in New England we couldn’t help but encounter Red Sox fans. One thing people forget about Winslow Homer was how he started to paint more and more out of New England once Red Sox fans started appearing on the landscape.

 

What I liked about the camera was that it was tiny, and could easily be stuck in a pocket. Apparently it was the kind used in the movie “Tomb Raider”, which I never saw. Never was really into Angelina Jolie, even before she started using the same accent for ancient or medieval roles. Something about the big lips. Folks make a big deal out of Anna Kournikova and Scarlett Johansson, but again, there’s that big lip thing. It’s not as if Ms. Johansson would be out of options without them, and as for Ms. Jolie, did she never watch “Deliverance” and the trouble her pop almost got into with the hillbilly that didn’t rape Ned Beatty on account of the “pretty mouth” thing?

 

Back to the camera. The problem with it is the amount of pictures I can take. The card that came with the camera was 64 mb, which took me to about the end of June 2004, through the last wedding, including a stop in Plymouth on the way to Logan. By deleting a photo or two, I was able to make room for a couple of shots of Plymouth Rock. One would think that if the Pilgrims were going to travel so far in a boat in order to inflict Puritanism on countless generations they would at least have landed on something more substantial than Plymouth Rock. You go somewhere like Copenhagen, where there are very few Red Sox fans, when they have something really little to photograph like the Little Mermaid, they let you know it’s really little). Anyway, Rock plus Christmas, four weddings, a party or two and a handful of mp4s gave me room to stuff 313 pictures on the original card, which having been born on 3/13 was pretty perfect.

 

Then girlfriend, yet to be wife, goes and buys me this Magilla card, way more powerful than the original. Since then we’ve been to Yosemite, Germany, Buenos Aires, Sea Ranch and attended more parties and weddings. Don’t think I’m anywhere close to filling this card, and for a while there, when I wanted to show somebody a photo of say, the ’76 Olympic pool, I’d have to press a button a few hundred times before remembering, Montreal…that’s on the 313 card.

 

Finally we got married, and my wife took first one card, and then the other, and shoved them in to this thing she calls a device, and shoved the device into one of the computers, so now all I have to do is reach behind the computers and press this button on another device, the one that lets me switch from the stubby, Ned Beatty shaped PC over to the taller, more elegant Mac, which I use to peruse photos in a better way to locate that Olympic pool, but really, not any easier than going up to the attic and opening a suitcase and pulling out envelopes containing just 36 photos thank you, from say 1978, and reminiscing about how folks like Ron Guidry and Bucky Dent fought the good fight.

 

Anybody notice how it wasn’t until everybody, including me, started taking digital photos that the Red Sox or Patriots got any good? Or that Tom Brady was raised on the edge of Silicon Valley? “Capricorn Two”, shot with real film, will expose all of this.

 

 

Murray’s Linhof

On a recent visit to the folk’s house, I went fishing through the garage and discovered an old, but pristine camera case. Inside was a 4×5 camera, a Linhof Technika from the fifties. There were German lenses, film holders, and various unfamiliar accesories. There was also 4×5 film that had to be 50 years old. I brought the camera case into the house, and was about to open it up when I heard, ” do not touch that camera.” Turns out this was “Murray’s Linfhoff” and I was not worthy of holding it. I guess the fact that I walk around without lens caps, or a proper camera case does not bode well for me touching my dad’s 4×5.

I was however, permitted to borrow the camera manual which is in itself a piece of art. I’ve been reading and researching these amazing instruments, and yes, you just don’t grab a 4×5 like you do your point and shoot. It turns out that some of the oldest cameras around are still the best cameras around, and all the digital technology in the world cannot touch the image quality of this 50 year old 4×5 camera. Here’s something from the manual:

“Photography’s function is to record the world we live in, accurately, clearly, in all its true color, as our eyes see it. A photograph should omit nothing, add nothing; a concise definition of its real function, which at times would seem to have been forgotten. This absolute truth to nature is a matter for photographic technique. True perspective, such as one is accustomed to in ordinary vision, critical sharpness, giving clear rendering of the most minute detail, and the full scale of tones and colors one would like to recognize in one’s pictures. ” (from Linhof manual 1957)

A far cry from photoshop! No surprize that with this type of schooling Murray does not “do digital.” And I’ve been missing the old preparation when composing a photograph. The age of motordrives and fast firing lenses has really ruined the calmness of carefully setting up a photograph, and I’m thinking I’m ready for a return to a camera that’’s older than I am, so next time I visit Murray, I’m going to ask for a lesson on the Linhof.

Maybe he’ll let me hold the camera this time.

Abandoned Photos

You take a dream vacation, take lots of photos, bring them to a photolab, and never pick them up. Seems odd, but it happens all the time. About 10% of film and digital images ordered never get picked up. There are lots of reasons: people forget, don’t have money, lose interest in the subject matter, leave town, die………. Sometimes these photos are market “urgent” or “rush” because at the time it’s a freakin’ big deal. I have photos of babies being born, kids parties, Bar Mitzvahs, weddings, funerals, naked people, dog portraits, burning man crap, actor headshots, artwork, and everything under the sun.

I can see losing interest in a digital order since it’s on someone’s computer. But negatives and prints??? This is not dry cleaning! And by the way, we make every effort to contact the owners of the photos, and some people do eventually collect their property, but I have pictures here from The Eighties.

So, here’s my idea: I’m thinking of putting together a photoshow of a bunch of the ‘left behind and abandoned” photos. A random collection of the stuff people decided was once important enough to photograph, but not important enough to pay the proprietor of the photolab for his developing services. Is this an invasion of privacy?? Hell yes, but obviously someone doesn’t care enough to protect themselves.

Maybe you will see someone you know on the walls of my shop and let them know that they have film waiting to be picked up. Maybe it’s a picture of you on the beach, or in Paris, or getting stoned in the park, or maybe it’s a shot of an ex-girlfriend from a happy time in your life, or maybe it’s a photo of your old cat, or your old Mustang convertible, or even your Mom and Dad……….

Top Ten Photo Shoot Disasters

Over the years I’ve heard some sad stories of photographer’s “blowing it” on photo shoots. I’ve also had some photo meltdowns of my own. I thought it would be fun to make a top ten list. I’ll start it and add to the list as people send me their stories.

10) Arriving in Ireland for a subsidized vacation I was jetlagged and not happy about driving on the passenger side of the car. I stopped to photograph a castle, got back in the car and drove off leaving my camera bag on top the trunk of the car. I realized my mistake an hour later, drove back but my gear was gone. 2 Nikons, and full compliment of lenses gone. I had been bragging for weeks about this gig as an international photographer, and within an hour of landing at the airport I lost all my gear.

9) Was hired to photograph a party on a whale watching trip. Stupidly I brought my medium format camera which meant I had to look down into the camera to shoot. Well, I looked down, and when I looked up again, I was ill from the ocean. So sick that I had to jump off the boat and swim back. I know longer do any open- ocean photography.

Shooting a friends wedding in Berkeley, I became enamored with one of the female guests. So much so, that during the ceremony I was off in the bushes with my pants down, instead of documenting the most important parts of the wedding I was hired to shoot. Luckily for me, the couple split up 3 months later, so a wedding album was not needed. The female guest did not return my subsequent phone calls.

Ok, those are 3 from me, I await the rest from you…………………………………

Show Me Your Stuff

Do you want to share your photography with others in a non-threatening environment that encourages creativity without boundaries? Do you want to cross the line, and possibly offend the uptight owner (me) of this photolab? Yes, well why aren’t you in the Photoworks Photographer’s Showcase? You know this sight is seen by millions of people a day, so why not get some free exposure?

Honestly, I thought this gallery would be a waste of space, but I was wrong. This work is very good, and I’m a cynical critic who hates almost everything. So, let’s see what you’ve got! www.photoworkssf.com/gallery

Digital Black and White, Who cares?

Black and White Photography, where have you gone? You’re like a colorized version of Casablanca. A classic, ruined by digital technology. Hey folks, it doesn’t have to be that way. If you’re a purist, well you still shoot black and white film, and I’m not talking to you. But, if you’re of the many who shoot digitally, you can still have black and white without dusting off the film camera. Excuse the sales pitch but, we can make black and whites from your digital camera files. And, we print on the good stuff, Ilford Multi Contrast Paper.

It doesn’t matter how we do it. It looks great. So if you miss silver based prints, contrast, blacks, and whites and all the good stuff in between, give this service a try. Ask for True Black and White from your digital camera files.

So who the hell cares??? It seems very few of you. We’ve had this product out there for a year now, and while we have a growing clientele for digital black and white, most shooters either don’t get the concept, or just live in a splashy colorized universe. There is more to photography than just documenting images, that’s what video is for. How ’bout trying to make some art, or just something old school and interesting. Am I bitter? No, I just miss traditional photography which for me means black and white.

My message here is that it’s still available and easy to have even with a digital camera. So, think black and white. You can still have your flowers and trees, your faces, your landscapes and farmhouses, even sunsets. You’ll be surprized how much you can see without the “distraction” of all that color.

photos I actually like

Friday the 8th day of june there will be a fine photo show at photoworks. I say this proudly, as these are images that I like. We’ve had shows in the past, some good, some not so good, some pretty dull. Sometimes you commit to an artist/photographer without really knowing much about them. Sometimes you get burned when you do this, but in this case it’s been a blessing. The featured photographer tomorrow is Jacob (jake) Appelbaum a self-described “world traveler, photographer, and unix computer user.” Being in my forties, I don’t know what EMO is, but just because Jake wears black, and has some sort of cosmic hair color, does not put him in this category. This was my misconception which Jake politely corrected. One thing I like about Jake is that he appears to have left a trail of broken hearts all over Europe. Never got to live that life myself.

Oh yeah, about the photos on display. They are done with color infrared film. What is color infrared? It’s actually a positve, not a negative. Don’t try and get that, it’s an esoteric process that’s dorky unless you work here. The point is that despite all the layers of chemicals, the images are wonderfully composed, and show a gorgeous color palette. I will be serving the usually red beverage. Jake Appelbaum Photo Show Friday June 8th 6:30-8ish at Photoworks Market at Church St.  ( the show runs through July, so come on down anytime and have a look)

I just got a Holga, and I’m totally freaked out.

Heard the above cry today from someone dropping off 5 rolls of film. I get this comment from people who feel some kind of obligation to create art from this plastic camera know as THE HOLGA. Or sometimes people will say, “these are from my Holga so they will probably suck.” Most of you know the deal with The Holga. They are basically toy cameras with random defects that have become a virtue for photographers, with photos winning awards and starting a whole industry based on light leaks and blury images. I had a Holga that I was very attatched to, as it yielded consistently cool vignetting that made me look like a genius. I lost the camera, and have been unable to find another with the same “attributes” thus I’m now one of the many lost Holga users searching for the perfect flaw to make my images interesting again. If I can’t find the right Holga, I might give up and go back to actually composing an image and exposing it properly. Yikes.

The Holga does fuuny things to people. It makes them wrap up their film in aluminum foil before they bring it to the lab. Strange, because the whole idea is for the film to be light struck, but people think they can control the amount of light, or that there is some science to this. Today, someone brought me film stuffed into a sock. Then there are those photographers who get upset at me when the Holga lets them down. It’s a very sensitive issue, the whole Holga thing, so I try to show compassion, suggesting that the photographer use thicker tape on the edges, or no tape at all.

There are countless websites with advice, and instructions on how to operate a Holga, but trust me you don’t need a manual to have fun. Just a sense of adventure, patience, a complete lack of pretense (please), and maybe an old sock.

positive feedback

From Page: /contactus/
Sender Feedback:
Hello Photoworks,

A quick thank you. I had brought in a photograph that had a great deal of personal signfigance to my family. No negative. The copy you made was awesome. Nay…fucking awesome. Also getting the free disk was great because now the pic. is the desk top on my computer (which is also hella tight/fucking awesome).
Very reasonable price and all and all most pleasant photographic experience.

“It’s always nice to hear positive feedback, especially when stated in such eloquent fashion. Whoever you are, I f**** love you hella tight.”

dh

Hey Uncle Harry, Leave Your Camera At Home

Recently, I was asked to shoot a friend’s wedding. Though I don’t shoot for a living, I can relate to the preasure thrust upon wedding photographers every weekend. You’re dealing with alot of factors, many out of your control. You’ve got the nervous bride, the insane mother, the overbearing father, and the Nazi wedding coordinator. Not to mention wind, rain, bad light, too much light, glare, churches that don’t want flashes, and the potential for camera equipment failure. That’s alot of stuff, so what you do not need is Uncle Harry with his new 10 million mega-pixel Best Buy Special of the week digital camera getting in the way. This is why we have formal wedding photos with everyone looking in different directions. It’s clowns like Uncle Harry getting in the way that makes the job difficult. I say leave the photography to the people that are hired, or in my case drafted, into the job.

And please don’t talk to me while I’m working. Don’t ask me about my zoom, or my focus, or anything about pixels. I don’t know you. I don’t want to know you. I’m a hired gun, here on a mission to get “the shot,” the kiss, the moment of truth. Would you distract an artist painting on the streets of Paris?

So on behalf of all the hard working real wedding photographers everywhere, I have a message for the bride and groom to be: Tell Uncle Harry to “Leave Your Camera At Home.”