Classy Class Photos

It was class photo day recently for my son’s kindergarten class.   We sort of dressed him up a bit for the occasion knowing that we probably won’t buy any of the obligatory packages offered by the “photographers.”   Almost all of us still have at least one hilarious class photo from the fourth grade or thereabouts.  We laugh at how funny we look, but in the end we treasure these pictures for the nostalgia and even the historical fashions of the period.

Yours Truly, the handsome devil top right.

I for one, am happy to validate my pre pubescent  memory of Miss Born who was indeed a stone cold fox.   So here is how this works now.  There are no class photos.  Instead, each child is photographed individually and then a composite is made of the class.  Why??  Are the kids so wound up on sugar that they cannot stand still for five minutes?  This is wrong on about a million levels.  Part of the greatness of the class photo is to see the one kid who is looking the wrong way because chances are that kid is still looking the wrong way even today.  The new class photos are contrived, impersonal, and lacking in any photographic aesthetic.  Not to mention that the final product is a crap ass electronic image printed on some flimsy costco paper, totally killing any hope of tactile pleasure.  The company in charge also shoots some additional poses of your kid, ala shopping mall style with a cheezy background.  The photos are sent home in an envelope that says, “look, love, buy.”  Really, I looked and puked.

what have they done to my baby!

If you look closely at the above you will see that the face is out of focus, and the pose is  just bizarre.  That ain’t how my kid smiles.  And sorry, but is that a hand drawn sun in the background?  I know we all think we can do better these days, and people need to make a living, but sorry this will not do.

I’m adding one more image here, my father’s class photo of which I have the actual 16×20 hand made print.  These are young men who were probably hit with a stick if they didn’t sit up straight, but the final product is a work of art, shot on a large format camera, meticulously crafted.  Not exactly realistic for today’s working school photographer, and therein lies the problem.  There are no longer any actual photographers, only button pushers, trained on a computer, not a camera.  Boohoo.

Pops, first row middle.

Abandoned Photos

You take a dream vacation, take lots of photos, bring them to a photolab, and never pick them up. Seems odd, but it happens all the time. About 10% of film and digital images ordered never get picked up. There are lots of reasons: people forget, don’t have money, lose interest in the subject matter, leave town, die………. Sometimes these photos are market “urgent” or “rush” because at the time it’s a freakin’ big deal. I have photos of babies being born, kids parties, Bar Mitzvahs, weddings, funerals, naked people, dog portraits, burning man crap, actor headshots, artwork, and everything under the sun.

I can see losing interest in a digital order since it’s on someone’s computer. But negatives and prints??? This is not dry cleaning! And by the way, we make every effort to contact the owners of the photos, and some people do eventually collect their property, but I have pictures here from The Eighties.

So, here’s my idea: I’m thinking of putting together a photoshow of a bunch of the ‘left behind and abandoned” photos. A random collection of the stuff people decided was once important enough to photograph, but not important enough to pay the proprietor of the photolab for his developing services. Is this an invasion of privacy?? Hell yes, but obviously someone doesn’t care enough to protect themselves.

Maybe you will see someone you know on the walls of my shop and let them know that they have film waiting to be picked up. Maybe it’s a picture of you on the beach, or in Paris, or getting stoned in the park, or maybe it’s a shot of an ex-girlfriend from a happy time in your life, or maybe it’s a photo of your old cat, or your old Mustang convertible, or even your Mom and Dad……….

positive feedback

From Page: /contactus/
Sender Feedback:
Hello Photoworks,

A quick thank you. I had brought in a photograph that had a great deal of personal signfigance to my family. No negative. The copy you made was awesome. Nay…fucking awesome. Also getting the free disk was great because now the pic. is the desk top on my computer (which is also hella tight/fucking awesome).
Very reasonable price and all and all most pleasant photographic experience.

“It’s always nice to hear positive feedback, especially when stated in such eloquent fashion. Whoever you are, I f**** love you hella tight.”

dh